A couple months ago, the pastor of the Fellowship Churches (Ed Young) in our area received national publicity for challenging his married congregation members to have sex every day for a week to increase the intimacy within marriages. Pastors and laypeople all over the Dallas area responded with laughter or disgust to the challenge.
In the spirit of judgment and competition that are incredibly healthy fodder for true conversation, I’ve decided to award some points.
+10 cahones points for showing some “cahones” (not showing his cahones…that would have been super negative points) and talking about sex in church. Sex is an important thing for Christianity. Every other chapter in the Bible has someone having sex with someone else they should or should not (usually it’s should not) have been gettin’ it on with. The Bible is sexy…our churches should be too. (grand total: 10)
+2 clever points Young preached the sermon while lounging on a bed. (grand total: 12)
-2 clever points The bed had satin sheets. You can sometimes get a little too clever and spend way too much money on a gimmick that could have been used to feed about 100 guys at Austin St shelter for a week. (total: 10)
-10 gimmick points Ed Young acknowledged in the Dallas Morning News that this was done, in part, to pick up publicity. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. It’s one thing to do something in the hope that it will get noticed and impact the world, but you should NEVER do something just to get publicity! It’s crap like that that destroys the church’s credibility (and if you do do something for publicity, you really shouldn’t say that to the press) (total: 0)
+7 breaking expectations points Most people think that the church is against sex or that the church thinks sex is bad. Young did a good job helping his church and many others to see that the church isn’t against sex. Sex is one of God’s greatest gifts! The very first commandment that God issues to creation is to have sex (okay…the actual quote is “be fruitful and multiply,” but if you think about it for 1.2 seconds, it’s a command to have sex). (total: 7)
-4 should have done more points At the end of the day, I’m not sure that Ed Young really took the message far enough. As my senior pastor said it, “dogs can have sex every day for a week–that doesn’t make them more intimate.” Intimacy is far more than sex. While Young alluded to this, I think THAT should’ve been the thrust of his series. Intimacy takes far more than sex. (total: 3)
-.5 it makes me nervous points I have not been able to watch the ENTIRETY of what was said around the worship services on the 7 days of sex challenge. I hope and pray that SOMEWHERE in there, he told his congregation that marriage is not a blank check for sex whenever one member of the couple wants it. That understanding of marriage is dangerous and illegal. It is possible for a spouse to rape a spouse. Sex must always be consensual and desired by both parts of a couple. I would give this a LOT more negative points if I knew he said that marriage means being willing to have sex all the time and I would give a LOT more positive points if I knew he talked about this. Anyone out there know? (total:2.5)
So there it is: 2.5 points to Ed Young for his seven days of sex challenge. Is this a good score? I’m not sure. The scale is virginal and arbitrary. Time will tell if 2.5 is a good score on my SCALE OF JUDGMENT (said in scary voice)
Right now our church is doing a series on intimacy. I’ll post some more about it as time goes on.